A Hungry Man is an Angry Man
by aiden.c
Summary: James' marauding friends "forgot" to wake him up for dinner, so he enlists Lily to escort him to the kitchens. The outcome may not be what the people of Hogwarts expect. Oneshot.


"A hungry man is an angry man." -English Proverb

It wasn't his fault that his rubbish mates "forgot" to wake him for dinner. It wasn't his fault that he was irritable whilst making his way down to the kitchens, a trip he wouldn't have had to make in the first place if his fellow Marauders had woken him up. And it most unquestionably wasn't his fault that a certain Lily Evans happened to cross his path en route to his destination.

"What's got you so miffed, Potter?" Lily demanded of him. She assuredly didn't understand a man's need for food.

"Missed dinner, not that it's any of your business, Evans."

"If you're breaking curfew, much to your dismay, it is my business," she said as he headed for the portrait hole.

"I'm not breaking curfew if I'm assisting with official prefect affairs," he quipped.

"Oh, sure," she scoffed. "And who are you operating with?"

"Oi! Moony!" Remus Lupin reluctantly withdrew his nose from his book to give James a halfhearted glare. "I'm helping you with official prefect affairs, so get your bum off that couch and let me assist you!"

"Prongs, mate, if you know what's good for you, you'll leave me to my book," Remus pleaded. James nodded in understanding and turned back to Lily.

"Well, Evans, I suppose you'll have to accompany me." Lily's eyes ran over him, sizing him up before rolling in disbelief. "Look, if I don't get some form of food to sustain me, you won't hear the end of it." She sighed in defeat and grudgingly stalked out of the common room. James was left with a confident smile on his face and a prominent rumble in his stomach before he registered her consent and followed her out of the portrait hole.

"If we're caught, our alibi is you were creeping around the dungeons, trying to prank some Slytherins and I caught you, luckily, while I was doing rounds. Got it?"

"Can't it be something more heroic?" James suggested. "Like I was saving a helpless first year from Peeves' clutches or something."

"At 11 o'clock at night? Please. The first years, and most second years for that matter, are scared out of their socks by the upperclassman, especially the prefects. Even when we're trying to help, they still quiver uncontrollably until we leave. They wouldn't be out of bed this late for fear of running into someone like me."

James chuckled. "You wish people were scared of you, Evans."

"What, you doubt my fear factor? Earth to Potter, not many revere you and your groupies either."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong," James teased airily. He skipped ahead of Lily and turned on his heels, stopping her in her tracks. "Everyone at this school reveres me to some extent. Even you, Lily flower."

"Sure," she scoffed.

"I'll politely ignore that dripping sarcasm and leave it at that," James concluded, crossing his arms to finalize the matter and proceeding to walk in satisfied silence.

By the time the pear was tickled and the painting swung open, the duo had become accustomed to the comfortable silence between them. House elves whispered at their designated stations, cleaning up after the feast only a few hours back, while a lone elf scurried forward to greet them.

"Master James, so good to see you! Dopey is ready to serve Master James when Master James wishes!"

"Dopey?" Lily queried. "Like Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?"

"Yes, Miss," Dopey responded eagerly. "Dopey's previous masters were rather fond of the muggle tale. Now, what can I do for Master James and Master James' guest?"

"I came across the misfortune of missing dinner, Dopey," James stated. Immediately, Dopey scampered off to assemble a spread of sustenance with a bit of fear in his eyes.

"I see you've made quite the impression on the poor thing, Potter," Lily observed as they made their way to the picnic table in the corner of the kitchens. It was placed there for the guests that were sure to locate the hidden treasure trove of abundant nourishment.

"Nah, he just knows the motto to which I hold true," James countered smoothly, grabbing an apple from the bowl on the table and sinking his teeth into it.

"And what motto is that?" Lily asked expectantly.

"A hungry man is an angry man."

"Now I understand your dire need for extra dining privileges," Lily laughed.

He nodded in agreement, letting his eyes roam over Lily's features. She seemed genuinely happy, a first when she was in James' company. Her emerald eyes sparkled with delight and he saw little dimples form at the peaks of her smile.

James took generous helpings of the food that Dopey brought over, the two absorbed in leisurely conversation, an unfamiliar novelty to both. Lily told him about her ghastly horse-faced sister, Petunia, and her equally ghastly big-as-a-horse fiancé, Vernon. James shared his riotous adventures with Sirius, most involving rogue bludgers and some form of public embarrassment.

All too soon, the food was gone and James' stomach had reached its capacity. They got up, thanked Dopey for his help, and exited the kitchens. For a while they walked in silence, before Lily broke it.

"Surprisingly, I've liked this," she said reflectively. "But if you tell anyone, I'd have to kill you."

"I've liked this as well," James grinned. "But if you tell anyone, I'd have to kill you."

"Shut up," she laughed.

"Really, what is so wrong with me that you'd commit murder if it went through the grapevine that you actually enjoyed a night with me?"

"It's not really you as a person so much anymore," she admitted quietly. "Honestly, most of it is my bloody pride."

James' lips split into the biggest smile that had ever graced his face. "Let me guess, if I tell anyone, you'd have to kill me."

"Precisely."

"You know, Evans, you can't run from me forever. Sooner or later, though I'd prefer sooner, you'll succumb to my awesomeness," James grinned.

"We'll see about that." And with that sentiment, Lily stepped inside the common room, leaving a dumbstruck James in the corridor.

He just might be getting somewhere.

* * *

_A/N: Hey there! This was written for lilkyonkyon's Proverb Challenge (on HPFC. Go check it out!) "A hungry man is an angry man" is an old English proverb which I hold dear to my heart :) Let me know what you think! Tell me what you liked, what you hated, what could be improved, what your favorite word ever is, what you think of the climate crisis, what your favorite quote is, or even a suggestion for a new fic! (you don't have to include all of those things, or any, but if you wish to, don't let me hold you back!) Thanks so much for reading!_

_Much love, Sadie_


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